L’uomo molto più della donna è esposto al rischio di rinnegare con azioni indegne il suo stesso sentimento.

 

In Italia, nel 2012, sono state uccise dagli uomini che dicevano di amarle 124 donne, circa una ogni tre giorni. Nel 2013 addirittura questi fatti di sangue stanno accadendo con frequenza quotidiana.

Uno dei delitti più orrendi di quest’anno è stato il caso di Fabiana, una ragazza sedicenne accoltellata e poi bruciata viva dal fidanzato di solo un anno più vecchio di lei. Questo caso sporca anche quell’immagine di amore acerbo che pensavamo al sicuro dalle perversioni e dalla violenza di una parte del mondo adulto.

E’ giusto interrogarsi a questo proposito sui motivi più profondi che inducono talvolta la parte maschile a rinnegare il proprio stesso sentimento con la violenza; questa può arrivare al limite estremo del femminicidio ma molto più spesso è sopraffazione, costrizione, perdita del rispetto.

Atteggiamenti punitivi del maschio verso la donna sono addirittura tollerati da certa sottocultura in varie parti del mondo, essi sono indicatori di arretratezza e profonda civiltà; tuttavia la riflessione sociologica e storico-etnografica non è sufficiente ad inquadrare il fenomeno in tutta la sua portata.

Forse che l’uomo ami diversamente dalla donna?

Nelle mie indagini a carattere antropologico-religioso ho alla fine dimostrato che gli antichi culti al femminile riconoscevano alla donna una propensione pressoché sconosciuta all’uomo. L’amore completo, nella sua natura metamorfica e rigenerante, si esprime con cambiamenti che favoriscono comunque il flusso della vita. Questo tipo di amore è femminile, persino col rifiuto esso trova il modo di favorire l’oggetto d’amore ad assumere nuovi aspetti, a scoprire nuove risorse dentro di sé.

L’amore maschile invece molto a fatica evade i confini del possesso, del controllo-dominio sulla donna. Ne abbiamo parlato con uno psicologo tra i maggiori esperti in fatto di ipnosi e fondatore della disciplina “Iperlogica”; è nelle sue tesi scientifiche che abbiamo trovato conferma di quanto già emerge dagli studi sulla religiosità arcaica. Prof. Caprioli, in cosa differisce il modo di amare del maschio, nella coppia, dal modo di amare della femmina?

 

Vincenzo Caprioli: “La biochimica connessa al sentimento d’amore è differente tra maschio e femmina nonostante il fatto che medesime sostanze ne sono correlate. Non è però il territorio della neurochimica o della fisiologia a poterci dare una completa risposta al riguardo, bensì il territorio del comportamento; è qui che osserviamo drastiche differenze di reattività.

Tendenzialmente la donna cerca nel partner una risorsa che integri le proprie eventuali carenze. Non a caso le donne sono sensibili allo “status” del maschio, ma anche alle sue doti intellettuali, morali, alla sua capacità di farle stare “bene con sé stesse”. Nei vari casi prevale sempre l’aspetto prestazionale del maschio, finalizzato a rendere più favorevole la vita della donna stessa, la sua creatività, la sua progenie. Anche nei momenti peggiori la speranza rimane che il maschio si ravveda, svolgendo  bene i compiti per i quali è stato amato. Una donna tradita, umiliata… può odiare ma si placa se accudita. L’uomo offeso vuol riscuotere solo “considerazione”, costi quel che costi. Il maschio sottovaluta doti femminili che non siano quelle estetiche ma, dal momento in cui si coinvolge, l’unica cosa che lo interessa è poter beneficiare dell’ammirazione femminile. Sono centinaia di biografie, ripetitive, a confermare questa mia opinione. L’uomo nel rapporto con la donna desiderata realizza un completamento della realtà percepita: il rapporto con la femmina diventa totalizzante. Il soggetto maschio non educato alle leggi dell’amore può confondere la donna col mondo stesso, buono o cattivo che gli appaia. Quando ciò accade, per ricomporre un rapporto col mondo che gli appare compromesso, il maschio può essere indotto a usare qualsiasi mezzo, compresa la violenza, per cercare di ottenere dalla donna una resa. Ciò è profondamente sbagliato, tuttavia l’immaturità individuale e la mancanza di una cornice culturale adeguata possono indurre individui ineducati e particolarmente fragili alla violenza. Nell’ipnosi regressiva sia la femmina che il maschio vagheggiano il rapporto fusionale con la madre, un completamento che solo il femminile può offrire; è da questa osservazione che occorre partire per interpretare la differenza nell’espletamento d’amore tra uomo e donna. Tale differenza ha implicazioni culturali e sociologiche vastissime e certo merita spazi di discussione molto ampi, forse capaci di ridisegnare i confini stessi dell’amore”.

 

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